Times are hard, I know. It’s tough to fork over $10-20 to go to a car wash and get the salt, grime, bird poop, and miscellaneous road scuzz off of your car. And the gas station squeegee is free; one of the few perks left when you buy gas. But you are definitely weird if you think it’s okay to use the gas station squeegee to wash your entire car.
To begin with, have you ever taken a close look at the liquid in the gas station squeegee holder? It’s that sickening grey-brown-purple(?) color you get when all the colors have mixed together in a watercolor rinse cup, or when you leave Froot Loops in the milk for several hours (kids: go ahead and try this at home). What exactly is this mystery fluid? Do they ever clean it? Does the EPA know about it? Do you really want to wash your car with it?
The other day I was at a gas station waiting for an inspection sticker. A woman pulled in and filled up her car with gas, then she grabbed the squeegee and used it to clean her windshield. And then her back window. And then her side windows. And then her side mirrors. So far, so good. You need to be able to see where you’re going and what’s coming at you. You go, girl.
But then she went on to squeegee-clean the front quarter panels, the front doors, the back doors, and the rear quarter panels. This required 1-2 trips back to the squeegee-holder-bucket-thingy to re-wet the sponge for each section of the car. For some reason she didn’t do the roof, the hood, the top of the trunk, or the bumpers. Maybe she was getting too cold at that point.
Luckily for her, no one was in line waiting to buy gas while she spent 10 minutes washing her car with the squeegee. I’m guessing that if you try this type of thing with someone waiting in line behind you, you’re probably going to start to hear about it shortly after you finish with the glass and move onto the body. Maybe even before you finish the glass, depending on who’s behind you and what kind of day they’re having. Most of us draw the line at the windshield and rear window. It certainly seems like the potential is there for things to get ugly.
So in the interest of public safety, and to conform with generally accepted gas station etiquette, you should probably try to adhere to the following squeegee guidelines.
If someone is in line behind you waiting to buy gas, please just squeegee the glass and move it on out. But if there’s no one in line behind you, and the gas station owner doesn’t start yelling at you, and you don’t mind washing you car with toxic Love Canal water, please feel free to go to town with the squeegee. You’ll definitely be doing something WEIRD, but you won’t be causing any real harm, other than to your car’s finish. But try not to get any of that stuff on your skin.
